The summer has been all about relaxing and unscheduled days for this family. I have tried my hardest to have as many days with no plans as possible. The school year is full of days that have us splitting up to get to everything, and I want this summer to be remembered as the summer we spent as much time at home as a family as possible; I know that sounds completely boring to some, but hey it makes us happy!
One of the things I look most forward to every summer is seeing my daisies bloom. I absolutely love it! I can start to see them pop out of the ground in late spring. They slowly start to get taller and taller during the early summer days, and then all of the sudden we have an explosion of white flowers with little yellow sunbursts all over the front and back yard. Every season I feel like I have watched these little baby flowers grow and grow and then bring so much beauty to everything around them. It’s the best!
My Olivia shares my love for the daisies (actually, she loves any and ALL flowers; just like her Momma). We usually spend part of the day watering, weeding, and just looking at the flowers. Our favorite part is cutting some of the flowers or hydrangeas and bringing them inside! I usually cut a bouquet for the kitchen table and she cuts one for the table in her room.
Last week, while we were doing this we noticed the tiniest, littlest, yellowest spider on the petals of one of the daisies. Instead of being afraid (which is usually the case when either of us see spiders), we sat and stared at this little guy and thought he was not at all terrifying. He was downright cute! I felt a little “Horton Hears a Who” like as we talked about what how lucky he must be to live on a daisy and wondered what his little yellow life was like everyday. We decided to name him Thomas. Tom for short.
The spider on the other hand did not seem at all thrilled to be plucked out of his domain. He ran and hid under a petal (seriously, how cute is that?!) I am sure his little spider mind was spinning. He was away from the warm sun. He was no longer seeing the even tinier bugs that I am sure were his diet. And, of course he had two giant human staring at his tiny little spider self. I am guessing this was not in his plans for the day. I am guessing the view was pretty scary from behind the petals of that daisy.
This little guy was now totally dependent on us for his every need.
And it made me think about my reliance on God.
I go through my days doing it all on my own. I spend a huge chunk of my time trying to figure out how to get my needs met and meet the needs of my family. I find that more and more often my thoughts and prayers are spent trying to convince my God that the way I do it is the best. My plans will keep everything in order. My plans will make everyone, including me the happiest. I know this sounds pretty selfish, but honestly isn’t this the way we usually go about our days? Relying on ourselves instead of the one who holds the world in His hands. Depending on what we can do in our own strength instead of letting go of our ideas and trying it His way.
Today, I am finding happy in the little, yellow spider we named Tom. He made me realize that even though it was not in his plans for the day, and even though he was afraid, and even though he was probably scrambling to find some kind of reason for this disruption, he was in a state of total reliance. And that is where I want to be too! With my heart in total surrender, and my life completely dependent on the One who knows whats best for me even when I’m hiding and struggling to make sense of things from behind the petals of a daisy.