Have you ever felt like you were drowning? Like no matter how hard you tried you just CANNOT keep your head above water? That, if you were being completely honest with yourself, it is all you can do to get through the hours from pillow to pillow each day? And then, when you finally do get back to your pillow, sleep stays far away? Me too!!! And every single time I go upstairs, I want to give in to the feelings of inadequacy, and let the scream building up inside of me out for the world to hear! That’s right….a bedroom is about to push me over the edge. My youngest daughter’s bedroom is a disaster area, and it has driven me to the very edge of sanity! See, you thought I was going to get all serious on you…..
No one can safely walk into this room. No person is capable of navigating their way from the door to the bed without the very real possibility of injury. There are clothes (clean and dirty) everywhere, except in the drawers or laundry basket! The growing number of half filled water glasses, cluttering her nightstand, are just waiting to be knocked over as someone trips on a pair of leggings (which are probably dirty)! But, the biggest danger is the amount of earrings, that are littered about the floor, waiting to pierce an unsuspecting foot! I have tried everything in my bag of tricks to get her to keep it clean; including (but not limited to): no screen time until it’s clean, no friends until it’s clean, and even…wait for it….NO POPTARTS until it’s clean! I just CANNOT get through to this little slob in the making!
Seriously, how can she not see the mess around her? She is completely deaf to my constant requests for her to pick up. I am pretty sure even she has trouble walking from door to bed. And don’t even get me started on how she is always losing everything!!! Then, just when I think she is finally going to clean it up, and I have the parenting victory…..she just closes the door. That’s right, she CLOSES THE DOOR! Because everyone knows if you can’t see the mess, the mess doesn’t exist!
Eventually, it gets to the place where she cannot handle it on her own. I don’t think she intends for it get this messy; she is only 10, it just kinda happens. But, no matter what her intentions are, the mess becomes so overwhelming that she needs my help to clean it up. It’s just easier for her to ignore the mess and close the door.
You can’t ignore the miracles that followed Jesus and his disciples. The blind would see. The deaf would hear. The lame would walk and even the dead lived again. These are pretty awesome things that are promised to follow us too. What if we looked at this promise a little different and prayed these things for ourselves? What if we earnestly sought for our hearts to be cleaned up?
What if we asked for that healing to be ours?
That our eyes would be opened to the hurt around us…that WE would no longer be blind. That our ears be able to hear the cries for help in our community…that WE would no longer be deaf. That our legs would take us to the area of greatest need…that WE would no longer be lame. Do I keep myself buried in MY stuff, in MY world, controlled by MY circumstance? Oh, that we would no longer be dead! Instead, that He would find us serving each other and those who have need without expecting anything in return…that WE would be raised to life again.
Today I will choose happy because it doesn’t matter how messy my heart is I have Savior that will help me clean it up. He will open the door and go in with me. He will show me where to start and help me reorganize. He will open my eyes. He will show me how to listen. He will raise me to life again and teach me how to run! I only have to ask…..