I hate grocery shopping! I mean like really, really, REALLY, hate grocery shopping! I have tried making lists, meal planning (I have a cool little chalk board and everything), and even just making short trips to get the things I need for the night’s dinner. There is nothing that makes it tolerable. Well, maybe one thing…making a list and sending someone else (this is usually my husband, who I bribe).
I am not sure if it’s just that I am more of a last minute person who usually decides the nights menu around 3pm, or if it’s the fact that the task puts me in charge of what everyone is going to eat. That means trying to make 5 people happy even though we all have different tastes. Whatever it is, I am sure of one thing…I despise being the one who has to shop for the food.
Inevitably, I will forget something. I will spend a ton of money and not get the one thing that we needed the most. Or, I will go in with a list and then get sucked in to the “buy 2 get 1 free” sales and come home with things that will sit in my pantry until kingdom come. Sure as the sun, I will come home with a trunk full of food, happy I have accomplished the task I despise most, only to disappoint because I didn’t get clementines, or forgot cranberry juice, or decided not to spend a small fortune on Poptarts; surely 2 boxes should be enough for a week. Two things are certain on grocery day in this house; I will come home with loads and loads of cheese (it’s the glue that holds my life together), and we will order take-out!
So it goes, pantry full and still wanting something we don’t have.
Why are those words so hard to say? So hard to live? Why is contentment such a struggle?
We want sun when the snow is falling, but we miss snow when the sun is shining. We long for our family when they are far away, but desperately want to be alone when our homes are full. We can’t wait for our kids to be more independent, only to cry when they no longer need us to tuck them in at night.
I long for the day when the words “It is well with my soul” roll off my tongue and echo in my heart regardless of the circumstance I am facing. That my first response to chaos, peace, happiness, or grief is faith in Him who has my heart in the palm of His hand and knows exactly what I need even when I cannot see it. That His plan is the best for me even when I don’t understand.
I’m working on it. Contentment is always a work in progress; something learned through both the good and the bad times. Chosen when we feel like we know better. Experienced when our faith overcomes of our fear of the unknown.
I am choosing happy this weekend by choosing contentment. By looking at my full pantry and instead of ordering take-out finding peace in what I already have.