All the Creepy Crawly Things

 

It has been a long week.

In the middle of a busy month.

In the almost mid way point of a fast year!

Earlier this week I was running outside on the trail behind our old house (yes, I am a runner…please don’t tune me out! And even more amazingly; yes!!! It was nice enough to run outside).  While running I was wrestling with thoughts of the future.

Our oldest son is going to prom in a couple of weeks and visiting a COLLEGE as I type.  Our youngest daughter just had eye surgery at U of M and there is lots of follow-up.  Plus, she is starting high school next year and we have lots of questions and decisions to make about what path she takes.  Our middle daughter…well, she is being her beautiful self and playing her role as the middle child with perfection 🙂  Thank the good Lord for middle children!   Am I right?!!!

Since my last post we have sold our home, moved into an apartment, and started the process of building a new home!  Let me circle back to the most important event listed in the above paragraphs…we moved into an APARTMENT.

Please know that when I say what I am about to say, I do know that most of the world lives in conditions FAR worse than this apartment.  Also, I am entirely grateful for the roof over our head because it has been ridiculously cold lately here in Michigan!  Where is spring anyway?!

Okay, now I’ll say it.  This apartment is small.  It is tiny.  It is smaller than the house we bought when we were first married.  Maybe, it’s me, and the apartment is fine.  Maybe I am just in denial about our actual size…

What I mean, is that in moving into such small quarters I have realized just how BIG we all are.  And, not just our physical bodies but our personalities, and our stuff, and our emotions, and just what makes us who we are!  We are 5 people stuffed into a small space with no windows (okay, I may be exaggerating that point), but let’s just say it has not always brought out the best in us.  But, we are dealing and we are changing.

I would say we are growing too, but I think the apartment would explode at the very thought!

Visual representation of our current living situation!

Anyway, my thoughts were all over the place!  I could see the path I was headed down in my mind.  Worry was lining up in front of me.  Overwhelming feelings were creeping into my thoughts.  This inevitably leads to worry about making the right decisions.  Which leads to anxiety about whether we DID make the right decisions.  Which inevitably leads me down a twisty, circular path where I am doing anything but glorifying God.

I never remember Proverbs 16:9.  I case you forget too it says: 

The heart of man plans his way but the Lord establishes his steps.

And, at just the right time, I felt that still small voice tell me to focus on what was in front of me.  He can handle the details of this day, the plans of tomorrow, and the vision of the future.  I was just to be still and let Him lead today.  We would focus on tomorrow when tomorrow came.

And, I felt peace.

Of course, it was at that very moment that I looked at what was literally in front of me on the trail and…IT WAS A SNAKE!!!  

I am so very grateful for the practicality of God’s voice!

If He will use a snake in the middle of the trail to switch my focus and steer me away from pointless worry who am I to ignore the instruction of His word, or the way He so patiently establishes my steps.

I will probably never get it completely right.  I will most likely worry again and about much bigger things than a snake on the trail or the apartment (which at this moment has a spider living in it under my bedroom dresser, so yeah…I am not sure if I will be able to sleep tonight).

But, remember, it is the little things and small steps of obedience that give us practice, so when the storm comes we know exactly what to do.  I am so thankful that He is equipping me with strength and trust in His goodness along the way.

 

 

****oh, I changed the name of my blog too! More to come later…***

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Touch and Go

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These past few weeks have been a little crazy!  With the end of another school year, a kid who is going to be a freshman next year (how did that happen?!), and the longer/sunnier days I have been a little absent around here (Oh, I also decided to start a shop on Etsy; you know because things weren’t crazy enough!  It’s something I’ve dreamed of doing for sometime and now it’s a reality! Check out the button on the sidebar to see some of my work and follow me on Facebook at Choose Happy Live Happy.  My hope is to share little pieces of encouragement you can put around your home to remind you to Choose Happy).

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Here are few examples of my work

On to the task at hand…

I am pretty I’ve shared before that I am a nurse.  Well, I was a nurse; currently, I am staying home with my three lovelies and the great guy I get to call my husband!

I was braiding my daughter’s hair the other day and I happened to notice my hands.  This is a task I have done probably a thousand times before, but for some reason I couldn’t help seeing how different my hands were.  For one they are older!  For another, they were kinda stained from working in the yard, and quite obviously, they were braiding hair that will not stop growing!  Growing up that is!  Could they just stop already, please?!!!

When I was a nursing student, I was always in awe of the expertise and care provided by my preceptor’s hands.  The confidence displayed while placing an IV, disentangling lines, or administering medication was outstanding.  Beyond that, there was the way these hands always provided care with a soft touch, even when force was needed.   Or, the comfort they provided while doing even the most intrusive tasks; it’s simply amazing the strength a gentle touch conveys.  Eventually, I became the nurse being watched by students and I was honored to be able to serve my patients in the same way; with my hands.

Lately, my hands feel a little idle.  While, in my heart I know that homework, laundry, making dinner, packing lunches, breaking up fights, putting band-aids on, etc., is actually very important work, it seems like they need me a little less as the days go by.  This got me thinking about how my hands had changed.

I used to look at my freshly washed new mom hands.  The ones that changed diapers, cleaned up puke, and comforted the crying in one swoop.  It was with tired eyes I would see them, and pray for the day that they would be able to rest.  I used to look at my gloved RN hands.  These hands started IV’s, washed the sick, comforted the dying, and celebrated with new parents.  It was with wide eyes I would see them, full of fresh anticipation of what would happen next.

I have seen my hands intertwined with my husbands, drying the tears of a son who lost his big game, and steadying bikes ridden for the first time with two wheels!  I have painted walls and art.  I have held babies, toddlers, and yes, even a teenager, in the comfort of my hands.  These hands have been objects of sympathy, anger, love, joy, and change.

So many changes.

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Such good, and exhausting work.

Still feeling a tiny bit inadequate for what lies ahead.

Then I remember there is one thing that doesn’t change.  One pair of hands that demonstrate consistency in a way I never could.

The hands that walk alongside me when life is good and carry me when it’s not.

The hands that catch me when I fall.

The hands that steady me in the storm and give me a touch of understanding when nothing makes sense.

I will choose happy this week because in the midst of chaos there will always be a pair of hands to strengthen me, to encourage me, and love me in the most unfailing way.

The hands of my Jesus are never changing, and yet they always fit into mine perfectly; changes and all.